The pact
by Baibe
Summary: Once upon a time Harry and Nikki made a deal but that was a long time ago.
1. Nikki

**So I didn't watch the last series of silent witness, I live in the US most of the year and missed out on it. Therefore it never happened right? The last thing I saw was atifil so Harry didn't leave and Leo didn't die... Until now when I happen to be in England and SW is on tv so I've been watching, and it's making me very sad. This won't stop me feeling sad but hey I picked hurt comfort so it has to end happy.**

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><p>She hadn't seen him for years, she tried to think back but couldn't remember exactly when the last time she'd even heard from him was.<p>

They'd phoned and skyped and emailed in the beginning, every time one of me had needed reassurance or felt lonely or was stuck on a difficult case. They'd barely been able to find excuses some times just wanting to hear the others voice, but that had petered out.

Then there had been cards... For a while. Post cards to start with, from all the places he visited. All bearing the same message: miss you, wish you were here. But the novelty wore off and what was once living a dream with new places and new experiences just became real life, nothing was note worthy anymore and the post cards stopped.

He had sent birthday cards for a couple of years, she'd pretend she wasn't upset the first time that the day had passed seemingly without him noticing. She'd told herself it was delayed in the post, or mail she supposed stuck somewhere across the pond. But then a week later when it still hadn't arrived she had to assume he'd forgotten, maybe he'd been busy at work.

She'd cried later that year when there hadn't been a Christmas card either, she couldn't pretend anymore. He'd stopped thinking about her, that was the only explanation. He was so surrounded by beautiful, tall Americans with perfect skin. Their teeth perfectly white hair always looking like they'd just left a salon, that he'd forgotten about her. Plain and simple Nikki across in plain and boring England, they'd only been best friends after all why would he think of her. And she did what she always did when she couldn't cope with her personal life and threw herself further into her work.

Without him there to take her home she practically lived at the Lyle centre, regularly sleeping at her desk just inches away from where he had once been.

The fun had all gone out of stealing his desk, she only did it in the hope he would notice her.

Her colleagues knew she wasn't coping, but weren't entirely sure what was causing her distress. They didn't really socialise with her outside of work, they hadn't been there for all those years, they simply didn't know her. Not the real her anyway, they knew doctor Alexander but they didn't know Nikki. They just let her get on with it... What ever it was.

She was avoiding her house, avoiding the loneliness that waited for her there, avoiding the silence that was her existence.

She withdrew from the world, what was the point in seeing her friends getting engaged, married and having children when the only person she had considered doing all of those things with was on the other side of the world. She didn't look at Facebook or any other social media sites terrified that one day she would see him having their future but someone else beside him, someone else stood where she should be.


	2. Harry

**there are follows and reviews already, I'm impressed. Thank you for reading I hope you enjoy this next part:**

He addressed the envelope and sighed, it had been a long time since he'd spoken to her. Or communicated with her in anyway for that matter.

He had thought it would be better this way, if he slowly severed all ties with her. Like a drug addict weaning himself off a highly addicting substance before it consumed him entirely. He'd thought that eventually he would completely free his mind from constant thoughts of her.

He'd been wrong, so wrong. Not a day went past that he didn't think of her, remember her laugh. The way her hair fell, the way she furrowed her brow when she was thinking. Every thing about her had been perfectly stored in his memory and just like she'd moved herself into the Lyle centre and never left, she wasn't about to budge from his mind.

At first he'd had no photos in his office, but the longer he went without seeing her the harder it became so eventually he relented and put up pictures. Mostly of the pair of them, some with Leo too. But then some student visiting his office to beg for an extension on an assignment took her to be his wife.

"Wow prof, your wife is hot!"

Harry didn't deny it, he had allowed himself to indulge in the fantasy that they had married. But once the student had left he removed the pictures, they all now lay in one of his desk drawers. He liked to think of it as his 'Nikki' drawer, that was where he put the envelope he'd just addressed. He'd kid himself that he'd post it later but he knew he wouldn't. There was a stack of them in there: birthday cards, Christmas cards, post cards and letters he still wrote them just didn't send them. He couldn't be free but maybe she could.

Maybe if he let her go she would be able to move on and have the life he'd always dreamt of for the pair of them. He'd wanted to tell her how he felt and maybe make something happen between them but he had been too scared that he would mess it up, and he would never be able to forgive himself if he hurt her. It pained him so much to think of her with another man, but he didn't want her to be alone. He hoped that she was happy and that she found someone to look after her.

He'd tried a little to fill the gaping Nikki shaped hole in his life. There wasn't much choice, his department mostly consisted of prunes as Nikki would call them. He went on a couple of dates, when the people he worked with found out he was single they all wanted to fix him up with their friends. There was nothing wrong with any of these girls but he hadn't seen them again for the simple reason that they weren't her, she may have left a hole in his life but there was no space for anyone else in his heart.

He'd never really got a life here, he lived in New York but his life was still in London. All he did here was work and work out, he couldn't bear his lonely apartment so he didn't spend much time there. He only went home to sleep and spent all his spare time in Starbucks or the gym.

It wasn't that he didn't like the work, he liked being a professor and he loved teaching but America wasn't all he'd built it up to be. He'd known for a while it wasn't right but to go home after coming all this way would be like admitting defeat, he hadn't been able to swallow his pride originally but now. Now he knew this wasn't where he was supposed to be, he'd written his resignation but didn't want to hand it in until he had a job to go to at home.

After Leo... He'd considered going home, he'd even drafted an application but he couldn't do it. He couldn't see himself sitting in Leo's chair.

But now, well he had a Skype interview with a London university so maybe he would be going home.


	3. Phone calls and Facebook

**Silent witness last night was painful to watch, mostly because it was a difficult subject matter but when Nikki cried and no-one hugged her... I miss Harry.**

Harry picked up the phone then put it down again and ran his hands through his hair, how could he just phone someone he hadn't spoken to in years? What should he say? "Hi Nikki, remember me? Sorry we haven't spoken in a while anyway I've moved back to England, want to hang out?" Yeah that probably wouldn't go down too well. He anticipated some sort of fight followed by crying, and if he wasn't there to wipe away the tears then the fight would probably never stop. No, he would do this in person.

Nikki picked up the phone, put it down again then immediately snatched it up and dialled the ridiculously long number. Why did you have to put in so many extra numbers to speak to someone in America? She missed him most at times like this, whenever children were involved in cases it was hard to remember that there could be good in the world. She needed a hug, needed Harry. She hoped that hearing his voice would work as well but suspected she'd just break down further. The phone rang thousands of mile away but no-one answered, Nikki let it ring. What if he was sleeping? She couldn't remember which way the time difference went, maybe it was the middle of the night. She told herself he wouldn't mind if she woke him, he never used to. Things were different now though, she put the phone down slowly not keen to break the link she had with him. Maybe he was out, maybe he would come in as the phone stopped ringing and call her back. She waited, but the phone didn't ring. Nikki gave up and tried to return the what she'd been working on but her mind would stay on it and kept wandering across the pond.

Maybe he was at work, she dialled the number for is office and it was answered on the third ring with some sort of professional greeting. Nikki chucked to herself remembering once hearing somewhere, probably from Harry that American customer service dictated the phone should be answered on the third ring.

"Hello?" Oh yeah she was on the phone, you kind of have to talk.

"Hello, I'm looking for Professor Cunningham. It's Dr Alexander."

"Oh" the woman on the the other end of the phone sounded confused.

"Is he there?"

"Um no, professor Cunningham doesn't work here anymore."

"What?" No matter how far apart they'd got Nikki couldn't believe that Harry would change jobs without telling her... But then he hadn't talked to her about the whole America thing in the first place, so why would this be different?

"Yeah he went back to England, said he missed drinking proper tea."

"Oh."

"Have a nice day."

"Yeah." Nikki slowly placed the phone back in its cradle and dropped her head into her hands, she missed him so much. But for him to have come back to England and not have told her, or come to see her or communicated with her in anyway. She thought he'd always be there for her in some form but now...? Nikki felt so alone, shut away in her own office. Rarely visited by other humans, and when someone did come too see her it was only ever because they wanted something. She missed basic human contact. She jumped a little as the phone rang and snatched it up, "Harry?" She'd spoken on instinct then mentally berated herself, how would it be Harry? He didn't know she'd been calling him, he used to just know sometimes that she needed him. She never knew how but she'd be about to call him and he'd be there hugging her.

"Doctor Alexander?" Oh yes the phone, it was a detective chasing some DNA results. She finished the call professionally before breaking down and crying noisily, angrily she wiped the tears away. She shouldn't let him get to her like this. How could he still have such a hold over her? She she opened her laptop and clicked onto Facebook, Harry rarely used his personal email and she had no English phone number for him so short of calling his Mum which frankly was a little stalkerish she decided this was the best way to reach him. She glanced at his profile and didn't notice any pictures with long legged Americans, in fact the last picture on his wall was of them. She noted how happy they looked then released the breath she hadn't known she was holding and clicked through to messages, she typed:

I can't believe you'd come back to England and not tell me!

Then she deleted it and tried again with slightly less malice:

Hi Harry, tried to call you today. No-one answered, everything okay?

That was better, he didn't need to know she'd called his office... Old office. She hit enter and closed the lid on her laptop going to get a fresh cup of tea.

Harry's phone pinged with a Facebook notification, he glanced at it. Then sat up straight when he saw who it was from and tried to unlock his phone, typing the wrong pass code in his haste. Eventually he managed to unlock it and read the message. She knew, he knew she did. He could read between the lines where she was concerned. She wouldn't have just phoned his flat, that wasn't the investigative Nikki he knew. But then he didn't know her anymore did he. Not really. He tried to formulate a reply:

Hi Nikki, I'm fine just moved back to the UK...

No that wouldn't do, he deleted and tried again. The words didn't look right on the page, he stood up and picked up a set of car keys yelling back into the house as he walked towards the door. "Mum, I'm going out. Do you need anything?" Ann Cunningham came out of the kitchen drying her hands.

"No dear, just call me if you're going to be out for dinner." Harry kissed his mother on the cheek.

"I'm borrowing your car by the way."

"Okay, have a nice time." Ann didn't ask Harry where he was going, she was enjoying having him to stay while he looked for a car and a place to live in this country but for some reason her son seemed to clam up every time a certain female pathologist was mentioned. And now his eyes were alight in the way they always were when he was thinking of her.

Harry pushed the seat as far back as it would go in his mothers tiny car and still felt like he was right up against the steering wheel, he'd have to get his own car soon. He drove the once familiar route to the Lyle centre with his heart pounding, what would he even say to her? He hoped the words would just come. He pulled into a space in car park looking around for her car, it wasn't immediately obvious. Maybe she had a new car, or had parked somewhere different. Harry walked through the sliding door with trepidation.

"Doctor Cunningham?" The receptionist had recognised him before he's said anything and immediately started talking really fast about seemingly everything that had happened while he'd been gone. Oh no, he had to cut her off before she got to Leo. He couldn't deal with that now.

"Is Doctor Alexander here?"

"Is she expecting you?"

"No, I just wanted to..." Harry wanted to say surprise her but that somehow didn't seem like the right word.

"She's on a call, why don't you wait in her office." The receptionist handed him a visitors pass and a white card to get him through all of the staff only doors. He thanked her then walked in the direction of the office they had once shared, his feet took him on the well trodden path without his mind engaging. When it did engage he suddenly realised he was not where he had expected to be, there were walls where once there hadn't been. He couldn't be so naïve to think that nothing would change, the Lyle centre would be exactly the same just waiting for him to come back and pick up where he left off. Maybe Nikki had changed beyond recognition too, built new walls to keep him out.

"Can I help you?" Some guy came over to where Harry was hovering.

"No, I um. Yes I'm looking for Nikki, doctor Alexander." Jack eyed this stranger warily, he was acting a little flustered.

"Are you a detective? She's out on a call at the moment, is there anything I can help you with?" Harry looked at the stranger trying to work out if this had been his replacement when the question was answered for him. "Jack Hodgson." Jack held out his hand.

"Harry Cunningham." They shook.

"Not the Harry Cunningham?"

"The one and only."

"You're sort of a legend round here."

"Only sort of?" Jack showed Harry to Nikki's office.

"She has her own office now? Must be moving up in the world." When it had been suggested that Harry wait in her office a small part of him had wondered if she had taken over from Leo but the name plate on the door clearly said Dr Alexander.

"Yeah she likes the peace an quiet." Harry frowned, that didn't sound like Nikki at all. "Sorry mate, I'd love to stay and chat but you know how it is work to do. I'll be in lab if you need anything." Harry nodded and watched as Jack walked across to the lab, then slumped in Nikki's desk chair and surveyed her office. He had half expected to see pictures of an adorable child with her eyes and nose, or a husband who was clearly unsuitable. But much like the office he had recently vacated there were no photos, he considered looking to see if she had a Harry drawer when the door opened.

"I think you'll find that's my desk you're sitting at."


	4. Conversation and confrontation

**thank you to all the reviewers, followers and favouriters. It's always wonderful to hear from you!**

"I think you'll find that's my desk you're sitting at."

"Nikki!" Harry jumped up and moved around the desk to hug her but she folded her arms, he stopped suddenly and lowered his arms noting as he did so she wasn't wearing a ring. Her hair was shorter and she looked as though she hadn't smiled in a while but other than that she was the same Nikki he'd been missing.

"You're back then?" Her tone wasn't inviting.

"Turns out New York wasn't the place for me, I've got a teaching job in London."

"Okay." She sat down at her desk and started pulling files out of a drawer, Harry looked on in confusion standing awkwardly in the centre of the small room.

"Nikki aren't you pleased to see me?" She slammed the pile of files onto the desk.

"I don't know Harry, you haven't spoken to me in ages and now you're here and I'm supposed to be happy? You're probably just going to leave again so what's the point."

"Nikki," Harry leant forward onto her desk "I'm not leaving. Not again I promise." She looked up but her face didn't soften. "I can't do that again, I missed you too much." She scoffed "I'm serious Nikki."

"You missed me? You knew where I was, if you missed me that much why didn't you call or Skype or come visit?" Harry stood up straight again looking wounded.

"It's a two way street Nikki you didn't call me either." She was blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"I never forgot your birthday..."

"You think I forgot?" He ran his hand through his hair, "I didn't forget, I thought about you every day. I wanted to call and write but I wanted to give you the chance to move on, I wanted you to be happy."

"How could I be happy without you?" She was shouting now, standing up and shouting at him with angry tears falling down her face. He wanted to brush them away but she flinched as he stepped towards her so he resisted.

"Whose that in with Nikki?" Clarissa entered the lab where Jack had his head down working on something, he looked up now and was shocked to see the fight ensuing in Nikki's office.

"That is Harry Cunningham."

"As in the Harry Cunningham? The one who went to America?"

"The very same. It's funny though, the way she talks about him I always thought they were close. Doesn't look that way though." He glanced towards the office again where they were definitely still fighting. Clarissa chuckled, "what?"

"You're such a man, can't see it can you?"

"See what?" Clarissa shook her head.

"With all your investigative experience too."

"Are you going to tell me what you are getting at, or leave me in peace to finish this." He gestured towards his work.

"She loves him."

"Are you sure?"

"Quite sure." They both turned to survey the fighting pathologists.

"If you say so."

"Nikki you made me a promise once."

"And now you're here to claim on it? So that's what this is really about?" She put her hands on her hips.

"So you do remember then?" Of course she remembered, she had never stopped thinking about it and wondering...

"Harry you can't just come back here and lay claim to me like this. Things are different now, things have happened and you haven't been here. You weren't here." She was crying again, both of them knew which things she was referring to.

"I should have been here then, for you and for him. I couldn't get the time off, they wouldn't allow me compassionate leave when it wasn't a blood relative. I'm sorry, so sorry." He was crying now too, she softened and dropped her hands to her sides. He wasn't usually one to show emotion, he must really mean it. She walked forwards towards him then, their gazes locked. He waited for her to come to him, knowing she needed to do this in her time. Eventually she closed the gap and he put his arms around her pulling her body to his, she rested her head on his shoulder and they stayed like that until the tears began to fall more slowly. He kissed her hair causing her to look up at him, everything seemed to get very still and quiet and he knew this was the moment so he leaned down and kissed her. She reciprocated for a second then pushed him away shaking her head. "Nikki?"

"No Harry we're not doing this, I can't forgive you and you can't just come back here expecting me to be waiting for you to claim on a drunken deal we made years ago."

"But Nikki!" She had been about to storm out but turned back to face him now. "I lo..." She stopped him by putting her fingers to his lips.

"Don't say it Harry this isn't fair." With that she left the room slamming the door on the way before immediately returning. "This is my office you should be the one leaving." He looked at her sadly but knew there was nothing he could say to change her mind and slunk out of the office, Nikki sat down at her desk with her head in her hands as tears started to fall once again.

"Nikki, are you okay?" Clarissa entered the room apprehensively.

"Yes." She wiped her eyes and tried to smile.

"No you're not, want to talk about it?"

"No, maybe. He's just such a pig headed man, how can he think it's okay to not speak to me for years then come back here and ask me to marry him?"

"He proposed?" That really wasn't what it had looked like to Clarissa.

"Well no, we made a deal a few years ago when we'd both got out of yet another disastrous relationship that if we weren't married or in a committed relationship by 2015 we'd marry each other, so now he's come back..."

"To marry you?"

"Yes."

"And do you want to?" Nikki looked up realising Clarissa could see the truth already.

"Yes."

"Doesn't seem all that complicated to me then."

"But I can't let him think it's okay to treat me like this." Clarissa chuckled.

"You love him right?" Nikki nodded, "Then you need to forgive him, before you lose him again." Nikki knew she was right and grabbed her car keys following the path Harry had recently taken to the car park, she got into her car and buckled her seatbelt. Putting the key in the ignition she suddenly realised she had no idea where she was going, Harry hadn't said where he was living now. He'd canceled his old phone contract before leaving so that number was no longer in use, she was about to go back inside when her phone rang.

"Harry?"

"No sorry," Jack's voice came down the line. "We've been called out."


	5. Proposals in the past

**This chapter was never in the plan but it seemed necessary and to be honest a lot of it wasn't in the plan, I expected to be done in three chapters. Then when that passed and they both had more to say I thought it would be five... We're and five and we're definitely not done yet, this could end up quite long.**

This chapter takes place in April 2012, almost three years in the past.

"Nikki...?"

"Harry...?" The two pathologists were sat on the floor leaning against Nikki's sofa with an empty bottle of wine on the table in front of them, neither had considered why they were not sat on the sofa but the floor had just made perfect sense for some reason known only to them.

"Do you ever wonder why it doesn't work out for us?" He looked across at Nikki who had a confused expression on her face.

"What do you mean?"

"Relationship wise, I mean even if nothing dramatic happens they don't last very long." Nikki pondered this for a moment and he was right, since she had come to the Lyle centre neither of them had been in a significant relationship or even one that lasted longer than a few weeks.

"Maybe we're too involved in our work, it doesn't leave room for much else."

"Maybe... And each other."

"What?"

"Come on Nikki how many of your relationships have ended because we're too close and it scares potential partners away."

"I can't say it's not been a contributing factor, but what should it matter if we're friends."

"Bro's before ho's" Harry reached for his glass of wine which was almost knocked out of his hands as Nikki clambered to her feet.

"What did you just call me?!" She was on her way to the kitchen now followed by a bemused looking Harry.

"A bro?"

"Oh..." Nikki who had been readying herself for a fight when the 'h' word had been mentioned decided to pick one anyway. "That's all I am to you? One of the guys." She took another bottle of wine from the fridge and started looking around the kitchen for the corkscrew. "You may as well start calling me Nick if that's how it's going to be, and I guess I'd better stop wearing dresses if I'm just one of the guys." She was guesting wildly, waving the bottle around her small kitchen.

"Nikki, you know that's not how I think of you." He gently removed the bottle from her hand and undid the screw cap much to her annoyance. "I've kissed you twice I certainly hope you're a woman." She glared at him not amused at his attempt to make light of the situation. It was typical Harry, whenever he didn't know how to deal with something he would made a joke out of it.

"No I'm poor little Nikki who always needs rescuing, so you can live out your knight in shining armour fantasies." She snatched the bottle from him and stalked back to the living room, perching on the edge of the sofa as she poured herself a large glass of wine and placed the bottle on the table. Harry surveyed her from the doorway.

"It's not my fault you always get into impossible situations and need rescuing." He joined her on the sofa "and if I didn't rescue you then what? Nikki there's no way I could live my life without you in it." She smiled.

"Ditto." He chuckled pulling her into his side.

"Doesn't count."

"This is why isn't it?" Nikki disentangled herself from his arms and sat up straight "We're a bit too close for outsiders to understand... maybe we should spend less time together..."

"Doctor Alexander are you breaking up with me?"

"No, maybe a trial separation?"

"That sounds like a terrible idea, if anything I want to spend more time with you not less... I love you Nikki."

"Love you too Harry." She punched him on the arm playfully.

"No I mean..." Harry thought for a moment "why don't we get married?"

"Married? Harry how drunk are you?" Nikki stood but he grabbed her hand and pulled her back down to him, she landed inelegantly next to him giggling."

"Not as drunk as you clearly. I'm serious Nikki, why don't we?" She looked skeptical "not now, let's say if neither of us are married in I don't know 2015 we marry each other."

"But..."

"We already know each other inside and out; you know that I snore, I know how to make your tea just the way you like it. Sometimes we can communicate without even talking, I know we fight but we always make up." Nikki was running out of counter arguments and the more he spoke about it the better the idea started to look, she'd always thought that eventually they'd get together now they would just have a definite date. They'd know exactly how much time they had.

"Okay... One condition."

"Name it."

"You have to do it properly." He looked at her for a moment with one eyebrow raised then slid slowly off the sofa onto one knee, taking her hand in his.

"Nicola Alexander, will you do me the honour. If you are not otherwise entangled on the year 2015, to become my wife?" Nikki giggled.

"Yes, I will." Harry forgot himself for a moment and took her face in his hands pressing his lips to hers in a sweet kiss.

"That's three times now."


	6. Letters

**Congrats to those who spotted that the last chapter was set during ATIFIL it was indeed! I read this: 'Harry will bow out in a two-part episode when he finally makes a go of things with sidekick Dr Nikki Alexander – played by Emilia Fox – after a tortured love affair.' In the mail online when it was first announced that Tom Ward was leaving then I was sad when they didn't 'make a go of it' so I wrote it, kinda. I missed out the fridge scene too though, anyway...**

Back to the present day January 2015

"I'm home!" Harry's voice rang out through the empty house, "Mum?" No answer, he made his way through to the kitchen where there was a note in his mothers handwriting informing him that she was out with Philip and would be back later. Who was Phillip? How was it that his mother was out on dates while he was sat at home broken hearted?

He had to think of a way to get Nikki to forgive him, a life without her in it was barely worth the effort. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, he didn't think it was possible for him to get any fonder of Nikki but absence had certainly made him surer of his feelings.

Harry went upstairs to what once had been his childhood bedroom but now had been transformed into a grown up guest bedroom, his mother had left one of his toy aeroplanes on a shelf as a reminder of the boy who was now like the room all grown up... supposedly. Harry allowed himself to fall backwards onto the bed bringing his hands up to cover his face. He thought for a moment then rolled over to the side of the double bed where his suitcase lay open and retrieved a pile of envelopes, turning to top one over he wrote his new mobile number then **dragged** himself to his feet and went out to deliver them.

It was dark when Nikki pulled into her driveway, although it had been getting dark so early this year that it didn't really mean anything. She glanced at the clock before shutting the engine off and saw that it was just past nine, the case had taken longer than she'd hoped. She pulled herself from the car and practically ran the few freezing steps to her front door. She was met in her hallway by an unusual amount of letters, unless it was her birthday the only post she got was bills. Even if it was her birthday she didn't get this many cards, not now. Without Harry, Leo or her useless father she was lucky to get any at all. Nikki bent to pick up the pile, noticing as she did so that there were no stamps on the envelopes. It took her a minute to recognise Harry's untidy scrawl not having seen it in quite a while, then sliding the envelopes to the side one by one she realised that they were all addressed by him. What was he trying to achieve? She dumped the pile on the kitchen counter and made a cup of tea before sitting back down to open them. The first one was her birthday card, the birthday she'd thought he had forgotten. Then there were three post cards from various day trips, all proclaiming that they missed her.

Next came letters. He had written as though he was having a conversation with her, often trying to reason with her and joke the way he would in person. As she continued to read, the letters got more serious. It seemed that once he'd decided not to send them he started using them as his way of dealing with things. In her Christmas card he said he loved her and was struggling through the 'holidays' without her. More letters speaking about the future he wished they had and how stupid he was for never realising before, water dripped onto the paper and Nikki realised she was crying.

Harry felt for her the way she did for him, it had taken Budapest for her to realise and moving to New York did the same for him. She knew he would have struggled to say in person what he had put into writing but then although the letters were addressed to her they were really for him, his coping mechanism, his therapy.p

"Harry Cunningham." Harry answered his ringing phone.

"Harry?" She'd called him but now didn't know what to say.

"Nikki! You got my letters then?" Nikki giggled but Harry could hear tears in her voice.

"Yes... you didn't forget."

"No I didn't."

"...Do you want to come over? We can get a take away, like old times."

"Okay, be there soon."

"Okay." She hung up and Harry listened to the dialling tone for a moment before ringing off too. 'Like old times' she'd said, when they both denied their feelings. Not quite what he'd been aiming for but he supposed it was a start, at least she was talking to him again.

**So I had intended to finish this before I went back to America, that's tomorrow... Better get typing eh**


	7. Chapter 7

Harry arrived at Nikki's having picked up take out on the way, he hoped she was in the mood for tai. He rang the doorbell feeling a little apprehensive.

"Harry!" Nikki answered the door smiling, that was a definite improvement from the last time they had seen each other. There was a brief awkward silence, it had been his cue to hug her Harry realised as soon as it had passed.

"I brought take out."

"Then you had better come in." Nikki took the bag of food that Harry offered into the kitchen and started pulling out plates for them. "You're so American," Harry raised his eyebrows. "Take out? In this country we say take away."

"Sorry, can't help it. Lived there too long I guess." Harry opened the fridge and took out the bottle of wine he found chilling there. "Anyway look whose talking, it's not like you managed to keep the dialect of your home country." She glared at him accusingly as she dished out the food.

"This is my home." Nikki looked at Harry then with such intensity, he felt flooded with warmth.

"This is my home too... I just couldn't see that before." Harry pulled her into a hug then, unable to wait any longer and knowing that if they didn't hug now then they might never cross that boundary. "I missed you."

"What did you miss about me?" Harry pulled back from her slightly to look into her eyes without letting go of her.

"Everything... every single thing." Nikki pulled away from him then, breaking their connection and turning to pick up the plates"

"Even my pig headed stubbornness?" Nikki shouted back as she headed through to the lounge.

"Especially that." Harry grabbed some glasses for the wine and followed her.

"Whose turn is it to choose the movie?" Harry chuckled, before he'd left they had a standing Friday night 'date'. They'd take turns to choose a movie, Harry secretly always enjoying Nikki's girly films. Partly because if it was a weepy film he had a good excuse to hold her close, not that he usually needed an excuse.

"I don't know, you choose. I chose the food."

"Seems fair." Nikki selected a dvd and settled back onto the floor next to Harry who was expecting to see the title sequence to some rom com possibly featuring Hugh Grant.

"Captain America?" Not what he'd been anticipating.

"I thought it was appropriate, anyway it's captain America two the winter soldier. I haven't seen it yet."

"Really? I think you'll like it." Captain America one had been his pick once upon a time, he hadn't thought it was her kind of film and had been surprised when she'd ended up loving it. Although he had suspected it had something to do with the amount of time the main character spent topless, a theory he proved when he persuaded her to watch Thor as well. Strangely she hadn't been a fan of iron man, too arrogant maybe. They settled down to watch the film. When they had finished eating Harry moved up to the sofa and Nikki immediately joined him, tucking her feet underneath her and snuggling into his side as though the past few years had never happened. Harry put his arm around her and gently stroked his fingers down the length of her arm. Nikki was strangely quiet and Harry thought she had fallen asleep, he usually needed to explain films to her.

"Wait," Nikki sat up suddenly they were underground. They went down in that lift for ages, and now the bunker has been bombed it's not underground anymore? I don't get it."

"Unless, the elevator didn't go anywhere. It was just to confuse them."

"Why?"

"I don't know Nikki it's a plot hole."

"Oh." She settled back down, resting her head on his chest. "Ive missed this."

"Me too," Harry kissed the top of her head.

"No-one can explain films to me like you can." They fell quiet again then both engrossed in the film.

"Isn't that...?"

"Wait and see, you'll find out in a minute." Harry's phone vibrated in his pocket and he had to disturb Nikki to get to it. "Sorry." He frowned at the screen.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just Mum wanting to know if I'll be home tonight." Harry grimaced, "Her boyfriend is staying over."

"Oh," Nikki giggled. "Stay here if you like."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I've got a spare room." They both smiled thinking back to the last time he'd stayed.

"I know, thank you." He quickly typed a reply to his mum and pulled Nikki back to him, they watched the rest of the film snuggled up like that. "What did you think?" Harry asked as the credits were rolling.

"He kept his shirt on the whole time!" Nikki pouted, Harry laughed.

"Ah, hated it then. Maybe we should have watched Thor two instead."

"Is he topless in it?"

"Is that the only reason to watch a movie? And yes he is."

"Well no, it just adds to the experience." She cleared their plates away to the kitchen.

"You don't see me complaining that black widow kept her shirt on for the whole movie."

"That's different though isn't it?" She put the plates in the dishwasher and turned to face him hands on hips.

"Is it?"

"Yes."

"So it's fine for you to ogle topless men but I can't look at topless women."

"Yeah," she was starting to see the flaw in her argument and made to walk past him. "I mean I've seen you shirtless loads of times, but..." He caught her arm.

"You've seen me shirtless loads of times?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Well we did share a locker room."

"I didn't know you were looking." She tried not to meet his eyes.

"It was hard not to..."

"And? Did you like what you saw?" They were stepping into dangerous ground now.

"...Yes." Nikki tugged herself from his grip and went back to the lounge, trying to hide her blushes.

"Well that doesn't seem fair." Harry was leaning against the door frame.

"What doesn't?" Nikki looked up from where she was unwrapping a dvd from its cellophane.

"I've never seen you topless."

"That's not my fault, you've had every opportunity."

"I was too busy being a gentleman," he noticed she was putting in another dvd "what're we watching next?" Nikki grinned at him.

"Thor two."

"Of course we are, well it's better than Magic Mike I suppose."

"Ooo that's a good idea, maybe later." She stood up and started walking towards him tripping as she did so, he caught her and pulled her onto the sofa starting a tickle fight as he did so. "Harry... No, stop." She weakly batted him away between giggles.

"Not until you promise we are not watching magic mike!"

"But I love that film!"

"You asked for it." There was a moment when Nikki was almost winning but he knew from experience that all he would have to do is stroke her neck in just the right place and she would relent.

"Okay okay, we won't watch it."

"Good." Harry suddenly noticed the position they had ended up in, she was lying on the sofa where he had her pinned. Without thinking he leant down and kissed her on the lips, just for a moment. "Sorry."

"Don't be, I quite liked it." Harry smiled then sat up before she found out how much he had enjoyed it, pulling her up with him and flattening her hair with his hand.

"Nikki, I..."

"I know, I read your letters. I, I love you too. I think I probably always have, I didn't realise until Budapest..." She trailed off not wanting to think about that time.

"I've loved you since the moment you first stole my desk." Nikki giggled, Harry kissed her laughing mouth.

"Why have we waited so long?"

"I don't think we were ready yet, we had to make out mistakes and date our unsuitables so that when it was finally time for us it would be forever." Harry suddenly panicked that he had scared her off. "I mean, I know we agreed but we don't have to get married or anything right now. We could just start with a date, or, maybe..." He was rambling. She shut him up the way he had taught her, with a kiss.

"Now he shuts up, Harry I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Well then." He looked a little shell shocked.

"Go on, ask me."

"Nikki Alexander..." She shook her head, had she changed her mind?

"Do it properly." Harry stood up without a word and left, Nikki was stunned. He'd just walked out mid proposal leaving only a blast of cold air in his wake as the front door opened. He was back before she could properly process the situation and suddenly he was kneeling before her holding a ring box.

"Nikki Alexander," He opened the box revealing a simple but elegant ring, a diamond flanked by two sapphires on a white gold band. "Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife." She pretended to think for a moment just to make him sweat.

"Yes." Harry slid the ring onto her finger, "I thought you'd never ask." He kissed her then and sat back on the sofa as though nothing monumental had just occurred, Nikki was admiring the ring. "And you just happened to have a ring? Just incase?" Harry laughed taking her hand in his and kissing her fingers.

"This ring once belonged to my great grandma and my mother has been begging me to give it to you for many years. It was in her car today when I borrowed it, maybe she knows us better than we do."

"I think everyone but us knew."

"You could be right there, you don't think we're moving too fast?"

"Harry, we've waited years and if the last few have taught me anything it's to live life now because you never know what might happen." He knew she was thinking about Leo, he always knew they would end up together too. They settled down to watch the rest of the film but Nikki soon fell asleep, Harry felt his own eyes drooping so he got up carefully not to wake his sleeping fiancée. The thought made him smile, fiancée. Nikki was his fiancée. He picked her up and carried her to her bed, he tucked her in and kissed her on the forehead.

"Sleep tight."

"Harry?" He was sneaking out of the room when she awoke and sat up.

"Sorry, I was trying not to wake you." Nikki got out of bed and walked towards him.

"Where are you going?" Harry gestured towards the guest room looking confused. "Harry..." She took his hands, laughing "we just got engaged, I think we can share a bed."

"I didn't want to assume." She changed into her pyjamas while he stripped down to his boxers and then they both slid into the bed lying side by side. "Good night... Fiancée." He turned his head to look at her and took her hand which had been lying in the void between them.

"Good night fiancé." She rolled over so they were cuddled together and kissed him passionately, when they pulled away he kissed her again. It was still novel to be allowed to kiss her, he wondered what it would be like to do other things with her too. He might have to wait to cross that boundary he realised as Nikki's breathing deepened and she fell asleep again. He didn't mind, he finally had everything he'd always wanted and was happier than he'd ever been.


End file.
